This month we celebrate the anniversary of Swamiji’s meeting Master and how they touched our lives in profound and lasting ways. I would like to share with you some of my brief interactions with Swamiji and what I learned from those moments.
First Meeting
The first time I saw Swamiji was at the Metropolitan Mall in Gurgaon. I felt a deep sense of love and bliss in my heart even though I had never seen or heard of Swamiji before. Amidst my shopping, I happened to look back as he passed by. I hastily asked my husband Shishir: “who is this man in the orange robe?” He recognized Swamiji from pictures he had seen. I watched Swamiji walk by and later decided to accompany my husband to the meditation classes at Ananda. This was December 2005. I have had the fortune to see Swamiji several times, mostly in large satsangs. As he walked into those gatherings, from a distance I could feel his aura of bliss and love. I felt my heart rhythm change in his presence, many a times my eyes would be moist and experienced a deep sense of peace. I have had few occasions to speak with him personally. However, I did not have anything to say to him in those moments. I just loved being in his presence enjoying his compassion and wisdom.What are you doing now?
We moved from Gurgaon to Pune. Swamij lived in Pune those days. It was a particularly chaotic time in my life. Extensive traveling, setting up a company in Pune, settling into a new home and coping with the children’s troubles in a new school and so on. While the intention was to deepen my spiritual practice and be in Swamiji’s proximity in Pune, life interfered with my plans. My spiritual life was going through a dry phase. I was very restless and scattered.
At a satsang at Swamiji’s home, as everyone walked up for blessings, I felt so inadequate that I tried to hide and just not go to Swamiji. I felt unworthy of his blessings. He looked at me from a distance as the queue was ending and smiled. I had no place to hide and walked up. As I came to him, I felt he said very loudly and with a deep voice – “What are you doing now?” It was as if the whole room was echoing with the question, again and again. I fumbled and mumbled. Dharamdasji, who was next to him, filled in and said to him, “Swamiji, she has picked up a job in Pune and moved here recently.” He just smiled and blessed me at the Spiritual eye, as was customary. I came out of the room and said to a friend who was behind me, he was asking me that question so loudly. My friend said to me, “No, he spoke very softly.”
So, it was only me who had heard it so loudly. It took me some years to understand what happened there that day. Swamiji imprinted that question in my consciousness, so now when I start to wander away or become sluggish in my practice, that loud echoing question comes up: “What are you doing now?” It has helped me find my way back several times like an alarm clock ringing promptly inside me in those distracted times.
Things May Not Happen When You Want it
Once we were at a potluck celebration with Swamiji in Gurgaon. Devotees had brought lovingly cooked delicacies. Our cook made kheer for the potluck, and for Swamiji I made it myself with very little sugar. I poured his kheer in a beautiful bowl and took it to the potluck. I had put all my culinary skills into the kheer and wanted an approval from Swamiji.As dinner started, I placed myself strategically to watch his expression as he had the kheer. Sangeeta took it to him, he took the bowl from her but kept it down without eating. I waited watching him all through the evening, but he did not pick it up. Finally he left without eating the kheer. He had a lot of other dishes and complimented those who brought them. I started to feel sad and left shortly after.
As we nearly got home, I got a call from Sangeeta. “Swamiji is asking for the kheer, would you like to take it to him?” I said “I am nearly home”, regretting I had left in haste. She took the kheer to Swamiji’s home and called me again to say “Swamiji asked me to tell you he enjoyed the kheer.”
So sweet were his ways. He catered to our loving demands for his attention and yet taught us lessons in those moments. Such a childish thing to do, I often reminisced about my behavior that day. Things may not happen when you want it to, but something beautiful will happen when it is meant to be, wait for the moment.
The Antidote for Self-Pity
At his last satsang in Pune, I asked him a question – “Swamiji, how do I cope with self- pity?” It was a trait that pained me for years. He looked at me deeply and it felt as though he was loosening up a deep rooted vritti inside me. He then answered very briefly, ”serve more.” Later I understood what he meant was expand yourself to include other people’s realities by serving them. Once in a while, I still get mild attacks of self- pity. I mostly catch myself in those moments, and try to do something serviceful and I feel better instantaneously.Be a Good Girl
On his last trip back from India, I felt an urge to be with him more. I tried to be present whenever there was a chance. I landed a chance to see him as he checked out of Le Meridian that morning, for the last time in Pune. As he came down to the hotel lobby, Sangeeta who was with me, walked up to him and handed him some papers. I watched him from afar, as I was just there to see him one last time from a distance. He called out from the other end of the lobby, “Come here Latha”. He blessed me and said with a smile, “Be a good girl”. He then waved lovingly at everyone there and left in his car. I asked my driver to follow his car to the airport. I went to the airport and just watched him walk away helped by Shurjo and Narayani right up to the security gate as far as I could see. He turned around, smiled and left. Never to be seen in his body again.
I cried inconsolably on my way back that day and reasoned with myself, Brighu said he had more years, he will be back again. Intuitively I was feeling I may not see him again. In a few weeks, we heard he left his body in Italy.
After joining an all-women chakra retreat in the hills, I signed up for the first batch of Ananda Yoga Teacher Training at Ananda Delhi. I was not quite sure if I had made the right decision as my body wasn’t in the best condition: I had issues with my knees, and my body wasn’t anywhere close to being athletic. Now, four years after my training, I look back and can’t thank God enough for inspiring me to do the course. Although I had a practice of some basic asanas before, Ananda Yoga opened up new vistas for me.
Let me share a particular experience – Previously, I never enjoyed Surya Namaskar, as I always felt it to be very physical in nature. I prefer something more subtle. Using the body as tool, through Ananda Yoga, I was able to bring calmness to my mind and a feeling of stillness. With that experience, now I look at Surya Namaskar in a very different light. In fact, it is now one of my favorites. I still find it physically challenging, but I am not limited by that. I can connect to the energy flow, the affirmation helps me to bring right awareness to make the practice even more enriching and fulfilling.
I still felt like a normal householder going about enjoying normal things in life. I would still have bouts of anger, moods, etc… However, they would last for shorter periods of time, and I would come out of it with more ease as compared to previous situations. Periods of frustration somehow were not long-lasting and vanished on their own. There was in me more acceptance of people in general, less judgments of them. Many times, when something happened, introspection on myself and the situation would come into the picture.
This year, for us, can be most aptly described as the year of “
Knowing how much energy Swami put out to share and talk about every book he wrote, we knew the amount of energy it would take if we were to follow in his footsteps. Or at least, to try! Once the book was printed we felt: “Let the book be our guide.”
But what about their inner life? Their inner development? Are children not eligible to explore the science and art of Self Realization? That is an interesting question, because Yogananda ji has also addressed children especially as part of His great work to uplift mankind from ignorance. The approach of Ananda in introducing children to Yoga and Meditation is to engage them in enjoyable activities that will direct their energies into learning certain life skills necessary for righteous living.
The camp was two weeks long with four classes each week. There were plenty of activities keeping the children and the serving devotees on toes the whole time. The day opened with chanting Om and Guru Vandana after which there was a yoga posture class. Mind you that yoga for children is different, at times there was so much laughter! For instance stretches were replaced with a game of posing as different animals; after the yoga class some children asked if it was also possible to pose like a donkey!
Then began the enchanting choir session with children singing the melodious gems of Swami Kriyananda ji. The words not only conveyed a message but also brought about a vibrational change in all singers. They even played a game of figuring out actions for the words of the songs.
Children are an ever hungry lot, aren’t they? And the camp would not have been a success without Satvic cooking. Every day they prepared a healthy but tasty dish or two using fruits, vegetables, curd and other such ingredients to eat together as Prashad. It was emphasized that Satvic cooking needs, most importantly, a calm cheerful consciousness while preparing the food. Not to forget mentioning that the waste from the cooking activity was put in a compost bin and waste seeds were planted; later on the compost was used in the Center garden and the seeds had sprouted.
The devotees at Ananda Sangha Noida felt blessed, so did the participating little ones and their parents as well. Some parents have come to the Center to attend the classes and events. They saw the positive change in their children, and became interested in how they could connect to these most practical, beneficial, age-old teachings meant for all.
The glue that holds Ananda together is one of friendship. Our entire worldwide work has no legal cohesion. We are not one legal entity, but many. Swami Kriyananda specifically wanted the communities to be run autonomously from one another. In keeping with this individualistic expression of Ananda, especially in each country, what, apart from the teachings themselves, will unite the work on a global scale? That is perhaps the most important legacy Swami Kriyananda has left us: family-in-God.
Now coming to the realities of our present generation (and I don’t mean in terms of age alone, but those who have come to Ananda in the decades after its establishment). Our experience of Ananda is as an already established global work. Each of us reside in different communities or are connected to different centres. Most of us know one another, living on other continents as just names or titles. “Oh, he is so and so, and he works for the fundraising department in Ananda Palo Alto.” “She is so and so, and she works for the marketing team in Ananda Village.” Names and job titles don’t build family. How then are we to recreate at least some of what the previous generation experienced? How are we to build and deepen our own bonds of friendship and family with our brethren across the oceans? Well, its not rocket science – just find ways to get together and create the opportunities to serve, meditate, laugh, cry and fight together (weirdly though, there wasn’t any fighting – perhaps we did something wrong?)
With that in mind, for the last three years, several of us have been coming together in groups of 30 and more to do just that! This year 75+ of us gathered together in Portland/Laurelwood in what was the largest gathering of its kind so far. The “excuse” for this gathering was the International Day of Yoga on June 21, where Nayaswamis Jyotish and Devi were scheduled to give a public lecture on “Yoga as a bridge to Peace and Unity”. Ananda Portland had never planned anything on this scale before – 4 days of programs at different venues across the city. They needed help. Enter, us. Some of us were able to help in the planning, organising and executing of this event. None of whom actually lived in Portland, but were connecting from different communities, on different continents.
When the day itself came upon us, 10 days before the event, our group descended upon Portland. We were almost 80 of us, from all over – Italy, England, Croatia, India, Argentina, Hong Kong, Germany, and of course, all over the US. While in the community at Laurelwood, we served in the kitchen, housekeeping, maintenance and the leading of yoga and meditation. And when not in the community, we were out, in the city of Portland, increasing the awareness around the event itself. We did flash mobs of yoga, meditation and choir in different areas around the city. We walked through the streets, some 50-60 of us, chanting Master and Swami’s songs, with harmoniums, guitars and cymbals, planting their vibrations everywhere we went. If we were in a restaurant or cafe, we would spontaneously break into song, in gratitude to the staff that was serving us. Our joy was infectious! On June 21, the event was an all day, open-air festival in the middle of Portland at Pioneer Courthouse Square. We were the first ones to arrive in the morning and last to leave at night. Many of us gave talks on the different aspects of yoga, meditation, community living, renunciation, etc. What a thrilling experience it was to share these teachings, and to do it with your bothers and sisters by your side. Choir and spontaneous kirtans were sprinkled in throughout the day. The last day, of our 4-day festivity, included the unveiling of an 8-foot bronze statue of Yogananda, with arms upraised in blessing to the whole world. WOW! No words can describe the power of that ceremony.
In his letters to Rajarsi Janakananda (James J. Lynn), his closest disciple, Master provides a fascinating reason for serving God with zeal, one I had never consciously contemplated before. Consider these excerpts
Swami Kriyananda’s life too is a perfect testimonial to Master’s words. Swamiji’s very name today, five years after his passing, serves as a dulcet reminder of – and a call to – steadfast discipleship, gentle kindness, divine friendship, spiritual leadership, attuned creativity, indomitable courage, selfless service and aspiration for moksha. Just as Yogananda wrote in the letter, Swamiji today is a ‘living name’, working ‘impersonally and bodilessly’, his name ‘having a magic spell’ that inspires those who follow him to expand the Guru’s work.
It fills me with great awe to realize that if I serve God ‘sufficiently, extensively, qualitatively,’ in this lifetime, my name can serve as a reminder of goodness even after I’m gone. Isn’t it the disciple’s greatest privilege if not only his hands and feet, but also his name and memory can serve the Guru, and that too perennially?
When our body ceases,
Within our path of Kriya Yoga, we give great emphasis to balancing our lives: on the one side with the practice of meditation, deepening our inner life; on the other side, by doing service, spiritualizing our outward life. We have many teachings and materials on how to develop our inner life, but what does it mean to serve within our path? What is Ananda Seva?